What my heart said...!

Thinking about her has become my routine,
Longing all day for her to be my queen!
Grey was my life, she's turning it green,
She's such a beauty that I've never seen!

Stealthy deep eyes, brown as they are,
Stealing my heart, leaving a scar!
Rapidly beating, knocking my chest,
My heart is screaming, "She's the best!"

"Keep up your chest, don't let me down!
I'm your heart, dressed up in gown!
She's your Princess, you're her Prince,
Go get your girl and get me my crown!

She's the only right, She's the only left!
Stride up to her, steady and straight,
There's no turning back, not in my sight,
Neither you may, nor you might!

Confess your love, may what come,
May you gleam or tears fall some,
For if she loves you, joy is for sure,
For if she doesn't, you may have to endure!"

-Pranav

An Interplay of reality and fantasy

I was shivering... It was her! We never really had spoken anything. Just some momentary gazes at times and nothing else at all. But now, she was talking. She was speaking continuously, startling me! She was asking me, "Why did you never make an attempt to talk to me? Were the hardly concealed gazes sufficient to satisfy the desire and desperation? Why did you let me go? You're aware that you could have saved me right? Why didn't you? Was your love fake? Was it just physical? Why..."
I was dumbstruck! I didn't have any answer for her questions! Or maybe I did. Yes, I knew there were possibilities of me saving her! But, this slight possibility contained a complex measure. I should have had to talk to her, become friends with her, impress her, mesmerize her, make her mine. I should have had got her so much into me that she'd never desert me even for a moment! Only then could I have had been able to keep her from travelling that day. But little did I know that, that day would hit upon me so soon like a thunderstorm. It was a bolt from the blue. Heartless fate had overpowered me like it always does, abided by its very nature. Rescuing her was an improbable task.

She was quite a charming beauty. A visage that'd grab anyone's sight for a moment. The gravity she sported was exceptionally irresistible. When I had seen her for the first time at the local bus station, I had missed all my buses, being enthralled by her captivating beauty.  But I had liked her not just because of her external appearance but also because of the inner beauty that I perceived in her. Regardless of the incessant stamping of humanity by the society, she didn't seem like she was influenced by the inhuman qualities rife among the mass. I had furtively seen her nursing an injured dog which had been ruthlessly beaten by some merciless people. This is just one of the instances which had induced in me, love for her and had confirmed that if we ever got along, I'd sure be treated like that dog. Well, that is a classical pun; The moment I saw her, my blood pump would start pounding like never before and I'd have to abstain from blabbering nonsense in front of her being spellbound by her sight.

After almost five years of admiring her, I had finally made up my mind to shoot from the hip and tell her about my desire to own her. I didn't know if she'd like me back but I had to let the chips fall where they may. That day, she were to return to the town from a family trip. I had got up early and had performed my ablution. Offered prayers to God and ate my breakfast. I was eager to speak to her for the first time and spill the beans. I was setting my hair by looking into the hand mirror when my phone started singing, ''What would I do without your smart mouth, drawing me in and....." Yes that was my ringtone. I picked the call but what I heard from the other side got my hand mirror ground shattered. A thousand pieces of mirror reflected my agony. Tears a million; My eyes ran uncontrollably. "What would I do without your smart mouth, drawing me in and you kicking me out.. You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down". This time it was me singing it. I was whining. She had deserted me even before becoming my dessert.
The bus in which she was travelling had dysfunction of brakes and had fallen off the cliff of a mountain. At the drop of a hat everyone in the bus had collapsed. How cruel of the destiny to engulf my angel. I was not in a condition to get my head around the fact. The blow was so hard that I couldn't get up from that place at all. I was down in the dumps. Cold water was poured on my desires.

This incident had had such an intense impact on me that I literally had got up from the coma bed after six months. Even after being discharged I couldn't get her out of my mind. I loved her so much that I underwent depression, appetite wouldn't bother me, I wanted to die. I could have resorted to tranquillizers or sedatives. But the strongest drug for a human is always another human. I was addicted to her. Nothing other than her would have been able to help me pull myself together. She became my drug and kept me from dying. She started appearing in my dreams. She would caress me and before I could embrace her frosty body, she'd thaw and flow with the river that coursed alongside, abandoning me.
But her appearance itself would suffice. I stopped indulging myself in any kind of worldly activities.

I had started taking sleeping pills in order to be with her all the time. She was my routine now. I had started to feel that the real world was unreal. The fringe between reality and fantasy is very narrow. I was on the verge of the cliff of reality. She was down there, crying out for help. Her lovely eyes were filled with horror. Those twins on her face manifested a hope for rescue. Her ray of hope was me, standing still on the ledge. I wasn't scared of death, I was scared of losing her. Completely filled with despair. I should have had jumped and saved her. Time is surely vice. There was no way I could reach her before she'd be taken away from me forever. My subconscious mind was still awake in the real world and it already knew that, what I was witnessing was an illusion. The fact being that she was already dead in reality and I was unable to save her, made my subconscious mind undergo a mental breakdown that cracked the ridge and held me back while I had leapt almost. I was stuck in the crack. I so badly hate gravity for this. I could probably have had saved her but had to unwillingly abstain. I could see her bus move in a zig zag motion, signifying the endeavour of the driver to control the bus whose brakes had gone insane. She was still calling out for me. I was screaming, crying, striving to free myself from restraint. But when fate rolls your dice, you either climb up the ladder or fall into the snake's gut. 

Finally I released myself and jumped off the cliff. But it was late. Her bus too had fallen off the mountain. While I was falling off a cliff she was simultaneously falling off an other. My intake of over dosage of sleeping pills also was working simultaneously. She fell, I fell, my corpse fell off my bed! 
Now, we're sitting together here on the same cloud. We're smiling at each other. There are no more questions to be answered. I have her, she has me.

"Baby, it's so cold here... Can we hug?"

I was shivering.. Death is cold indeed!

-PRANAV

SUFFOCATION

Hope is everywhere around
I just don't want to choose
There's nothing left to be given away
I've lost all that I could lose

You left along with all of mine
My trust in you was proved wrong
I can no more pushed to be bound to you
I've suffocated for long

I've suffocated for long
I've suffocated for long
I've suffocated for long

Nightfall came cascading down
I was unprepared to believe
You've played the masquerade for enough
I've no more pain to receive

Hope is everywhere around
I just don't want to choose
You were shamming of mourning in a requiem
But I've uncovered the truth!

No more sorrows can imprison me
No more clutches to impound
I no more long to use apostrophe
There's nothing of me to be found

I donno where I'm escaping now
I donno where I belong
Cuz I've been suffocated for long

I've suffocated for long
I've suffocated for long

-PRANAV

CYANIDE

Stabbing in my chest,
You kept from me in fear!
Running in the woods,
You took off in the air!

You can blame me,
Cuz the fault was in my heart!
Filled with cyanide,
Setting the blood apart!

In the depth of my eyes,
See the smokes of cyanide,
There's a spark in me,
Waiting to set and ignite!

Crazy fire; burning in my soul!
Turned me into ashes of blackened particles!
Twirl me in the storm and wet me in the rain,
Cyanide sweating out of heart, let the poison drain!

In the depth of my eyes,
See the smokes of cyanide!
There's an eclipse in me,
Hiding the poison inside!

-Pranav

CREDENCE

In the nook of my lonely mind, In a gloomy border of emptiness! Dug my heart to bury those memories, You were then, fond of my presence!

Now I shed the tears, Its been too long years, I just pat my back, Heaving the frozen droplets off my cheek!

I'm the only other person, Who has no proper reason, To walk by me, to drench in rain, To wash the sorrows off and to ease my pain! To scream so loud, ''its a fuckin world'' Not even my shadow's with me, 'cuz its so dark in here!

I'm an Idiom in the sky, Flung into the clouds so high, Puff a breezy wind, let the shower begin! I wanna live again, this time not in vain, I'll cascade down, washing my pain! -Pranav

The Dividing Edge

You're my destiny,
You may not trust me!
But all I wanna say,
Is I wanna make u wanna say,
''You belong to me, just belong to me!'' 

You're the only one that makes me fall of the ledge,
Fly off my dividing edge! 

I see, what you see,
I breathe in what you breathe!
Imma turn a dizzy bee,
Lose myself in staggering dreamz! 

I feel an enormous heat!
In the air you breathe,
A heat, that can fuse our hearts, into an amalgum of love!! 

I think what you think,
I blink when you blink!
Love is a vital drink!
Just don't let it go and spit it out in disgust! 

I feel an enormous heat!
In the air you breathe,
A heat, that can fuse our hearts, into an amalgum of love!!


You're my destiny,
Longing your company,
I wish we hold our hands and stand jumping off the hedge,
And fly off my dividing edge!

-PRANAV

But still, happy I am!

Sometimes I feel I walk alone, Sometimes i feel embraced! Although the crowd is all along, I feel I am disgraced!

Joy it was to be with you! Yes, joy it was to own you! Opened my eyes, the twins in tears! In through my heart did, you pierce! 
Here I am yet still alive, Buzzing like a bee, alone in the hive! Here I am but singing alone, Boozed with the pain, set for the dive!

You made me cry and had the joyce, Now I repent, for you were my choice! I don't hail you for what you did! Blind were my eyes, that gazed and gauged you candid!

It was a venture you drove me through! I believed that all you said was true! Now I am, standing alone, In the wind my feelings are blown!

Sure I'm am to discover, The happiness and the will power! That once flourished in the bay of my heart! Until you pierced the dam and let 'em go apart!

-Pranav 24/03/2014
4.00 P.M