Thursday, February 12, 2015


"I was walking beside this river, not making an effort to match with the speed of the gushing water. I had been walking since I don't know when! I'd lost count over years. I certainly saw no point in keeping track of time because what I was looking for was improbable to exist or even if it did, I had no idea when I'd find it. There was hope but despair prevailed over it. Every now and then, I'd put my hand in my pocket to find the same old key that had been breathing the same air I breathed, which used to shimmer when my tears fell on it but not anymore. It had turned red, as its nature suggested, it had rusted. Just like how we humans rust. The key rusts due to the abundance of moisture and air. We rust due to the lack of love and care! On a larger scale, there is no dichotomy at all. I didn't know who put it in my pocket. In fact if my memory is concerned, I had not seen a human other than myself at all in the past few years of my life. I didn't know how I had the key or what purpose it served. But my mind simply disagreed to throw it away into the river. For a moment, I realized that all I had been doing all those years was just walking along the stretch of water, conflicting with myself whether to throw it away or not! I would every now and then take it out to chuck it, then stuck in turmoil, I'd cry for a while and put it back into the pocket. During this relentless combat, I had walked thousands of miles. Sometimes I'd try inserting it into the wooden boxes that I'd find in my way but it would just be a futile effort. Nevertheless, these boxes were the ones that had kept me going. Filling in, an unusual hope in me that, I'd find what I was looking for, in oblivion."

She had been striding beside a river. She couldn't run. She was trying hard to overtake the speed of the river, even though she was not in the state to do so. She'd sometimes fall but she wouldn't give up. Each time she fell, she didn't bite the dust, she came out strongly. She had been on this unpleasant journey since she didn't know when! But she knew what she was on for. She knew that she could still make room for hopes. Sometimes in life, we're just running in the darkness because our mind tries to convince and make itself believe that there is a beacon somewhere projecting light for us. She wanted to reach the place where the river culminated. She wanted to find the beacon light, find the freedom she had been craving for. In the past few years of her journey, the only human she had seen was herself. She had wept a lot. Sometimes her mind would tempt her to jump into the river and end this torment all at once. But she kept herself from jumping, for some mystical force wouldn't let her do so; Those who choose to succumb to death get buried in history with no signs of them having existed. The ones who appear in ballads are the ones who make it till the end, courageously; Years passed by but she still remained in her predicament.

"After so many long gone years, this day, I had seen something that had astonished me. I was taken by surprise to see a quaint curve in the river's course what seemed to me like a point of confluence of rivers; Our life takes curves and turns so spontaneously, that all our joys may just drain in seconds or perhaps, all our sorrows may just wash out and leave us, for once and for all. Prophesying life is just as nonsensical as itself."

This day, even she saw a curve in the course of the stream. She was frightened. She was not sure whether to proceed or not. While her brain was busy making decisions, her feet wouldn't stop. They had sensed the coming of the improbable.

"As I approached the confluence, on the other bank of the river, I perceived some kind of movement. I couldn't believe my own eyes for it was strange! I wasn't sure what it was but a fount of hopes sprinkled out of me; The river of life outflows sometimes and sometimes inflows; I now, started speeding my life out like never before. That 'something' which I had seen, as I got into its proximity, took a human form. Meanwhile, even she had seen me. Both of us were bolts from the blue for each other. I saw the condition in which she was, which ground my emotions. Fettered by shackles and handcuffs, she, I can't estimate since when had been trying and crying to reach out for help. I had now realized the purpose of my life. We, who had been scissored apart, thrown in different parts of the unknown world we were now in, were running all these years only to find each other like this!"

Both of them felt the unconditional love that they possessed for each other which was still as persistent as it was, sustaining in each other's hearts. Neither of them knew how to swim. But they couldn't even continue their journey on their respective banks because they knew that they had reached their destinations. He jumped into water to embrace his beautiful princess that she always had been. He was not to be stopped because their destinies longed for it. In fact, their destiny was no plural but one; For when you jump into the river of miseries, it's not the end but beginning of real life. Miracle is merely the word but life magically teaches us how to swim for the love of itself.

"I swam until we could see ourselves in the eyes of each other. I hugged her and kissed her on the forehead with all my love while she closed her eyes and felt her intense affection she carried for me. Remembering something, I put on a crooked smile. She looked at me with a clueless frown.
I took out the key I had in my pocket. I was grinning at the crazy puzzle that life let me solve. It undoubtedly fit into the locks of shackles and handcuffs perfectly. Freedom! I gave her back what she had long lost and was imploring for."

There lay a boat moored on this side of the river basin finding which both of them, laughed irresistibly. Then, they got into the boat, pulled the anchor and set sail. This time, their hope is to find the beacon light, together, following the course of the converged river which might take them to the ocean after which, they might cross the horizon and reach the world they desire where they can live happily ever after!

He sat by her side and asked "Do you still love me?"

The cold romantic wind blew flipping her hair.

She simply whispered "I love you for now and for eternity, my dear!"

The boat kept sailing towards the sun as they hugged each other.


Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Into the episodes of past.

Falling apart, it's time to depart,
Leaving the trails, on the path we've hailed!
Long; we thought but it turned too short!
Two years of college and now we're out of the cage!

People to be missed are uncountable!
Juniors, seniors, fellow mates and teachers;
Memories to cherish are unforgettable!
Anecdotes for our kids about what life teaches;

Spent a moment, moments a many!
Bitter as neem and sweet as honey!
Happy and sad; both made memories,
Crossing the worth of mere a money!

Fights and break ups, compromises and patch ups,
Deaths of friends, only made us dense!
Treats and parties, hangouts and dates;
How badly I wish, I could rewind the dates!

When we were new, we knew only a few,
Two years blew and now we are a crew!
We've sailed the distance with different grades,
Time has come to fade into shades!

Days of teenage are moving,
Into the episodes of past!
All we can wish is to keep in touch,
And let these memories long last.


What they sought and what they got!

Pure and true love was what she sought,
There was no one to quench her thirst!
Freedom and relief were, for what she fought,
Waiting for her man, to rescue her first!

Sporting a smile in the midst of her anguish,
She hadn't let her hope to languish!
She knew her role in this world lay incomplete,
And she knew her dole was not to retreat!

There came an insignificant chap,
Whose destiny lay in this beautiful girl!
Setting her free from the shackled trap,
He had found his precious pearl!

He had slept his sleepless nights,
Waking in the dreams of her!
He had come to hating lights,
Whilst in the dark she were!

Searching the woods and seas and cities,
Marching every place on the map,
Now had he come to embrace her,
But, startled was he left by the mishap!

Holding a camera in her hand,
Peeking through the hole it bore,
She left, following the footprints on the sand,
Of the man she used to adore!


Saturday, February 7, 2015

That magical angel...

Once came an angel in the attire of a stalker,
It didn't take long for him to realize her true self! 
He fell for her so badly that he had to use a walker,
No, he couldn't stop loving her and abstain himself!

Those four days were magical!
Just as how mystical she was!
She took him on her roller coaster ride,
While a glimmer disclosed, how into her, he was!

Yes he was nuts, crazy all the way,
Nevertheless, this was beyond the mark!
Impulsive, as he stood on the pathway,
She was a mirage, who vanished in the dark.

Waiting for her ingress again into his life,
He didn't move an inch from where he looked deserted!
Isolated and frozen just like his tears,
Shimmering in the light, that he once thought she had projected!


What my heart said...!

Thinking about her has become my routine,
Longing all day for her to be my queen!
Grey was my life, she's turning it green,
She's such a beauty that I've never seen!

Stealthy deep eyes, brown as they are,
Stealing my heart, leaving a scar!
Rapidly beating, knocking my chest,
My heart is screaming, "She's the best!"

"Keep up your chest, don't let me down!
I'm your heart, dressed up in gown!
She's your Princess, you're her Prince,
Go get your girl and get me my crown!

She's the only right, She's the only left!
Stride up to her, steady and straight,
There's no turning back, not in my sight,
Neither you may, nor you might!

Confess your love, may what come,
May you gleam or tears fall some,
For if she loves you, joy is for sure,
For if she doesn't, you may have to endure!"


Monday, January 19, 2015

An Interplay of reality and fantasy

I was shivering... It was her! We never really had spoken anything. Just some momentary gazes at times and nothing else at all. But now, she was talking. She was speaking continuously, startling me! She was asking me, "Why did you never make an attempt to talk to me? Were the hardly concealed gazes sufficient to satisfy the desire and desperation? Why did you let me go? You're aware that you could have saved me right? Why didn't you? Was your love fake? Was it just physical? Why..."
I was dumbstruck! I didn't have any answer for her questions! Or maybe I did. Yes, I knew there were possibilities of me saving her! But, this slight possibility contained a complex measure. I should have had to talk to her, become friends with her, impress her, mesmerize her, make her mine. I should have had got her so much into me that she'd never desert me even for a moment! Only then could I have had been able to keep her from travelling that day. But little did I know that, that day would hit upon me so soon like a thunderstorm. It was a bolt from the blue. Heartless fate had overpowered me like it always does, abided by its very nature. Rescuing her was an improbable task.

She was quite a charming beauty. A visage that'd grab anyone's sight for a moment. The gravity she sported was exceptionally irresistible. When I had seen her for the first time at the local bus station, I had missed all my buses, being enthralled by her captivating beauty.  But I had liked her not just because of her external appearance but also because of the inner beauty that I perceived in her. Regardless of the incessant stamping of humanity by the society, she didn't seem like she was influenced by the inhuman qualities rife among the mass. I had furtively seen her nursing an injured dog which had been ruthlessly beaten by some merciless people. This is just one of the instances which had induced in me, love for her and had confirmed that if we ever got along, I'd sure be treated like that dog. Well, that is a classical pun; The moment I saw her, my blood pump would start pounding like never before and I'd have to abstain from blabbering nonsense in front of her being spellbound by her sight.

After almost five years of admiring her, I had finally made up my mind to shoot from the hip and tell her about my desire to own her. I didn't know if she'd like me back but I had to let the chips fall where they may. That day, she were to return to the town from a family trip. I had got up early and had performed my ablution. Offered prayers to God and ate my breakfast. I was eager to speak to her for the first time and spill the beans. I was setting my hair by looking into the hand mirror when my phone started singing, ''What would I do without your smart mouth, drawing me in and....." Yes that was my ringtone. I picked the call but what I heard from the other side got my hand mirror ground shattered. A thousand pieces of mirror reflected my agony. Tears a million; My eyes ran uncontrollably. "What would I do without your smart mouth, drawing me in and you kicking me out.. You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down". This time it was me singing it. I was whining. She had deserted me even before becoming my dessert.
The bus in which she was travelling had dysfunction of brakes and had fallen off the cliff of a mountain. At the drop of a hat everyone in the bus had collapsed. How cruel of the destiny to engulf my angel. I was not in a condition to get my head around the fact. The blow was so hard that I couldn't get up from that place at all. I was down in the dumps. Cold water was poured on my desires.
This incident had had such an intense impact on me that I literally had got up from the coma bed after six months. Even after being discharged I couldn't get her out of my mind. I loved her so much that I underwent depression, appetite wouldn't bother me, I wanted to die. I could have resorted to tranquillizers or sedatives. But the strongest drug for a human is always another human. I was addicted to her. Nothing other than her would have been able to help me pull myself together. She became my drug and kept me from dying. She started appearing in my dreams. She would caress me and before I could embrace her frosty body, she'd thaw and flow with the river that coursed alongside, abandoning me.
But her appearance itself would suffice. I stopped indulging myself in any kind of worldly activities.

I had started taking sleeping pills in order to be with her all the time. She was my routine now. I had started to feel that the real world was unreal. The fringe between reality and fantasy is very narrow. I was on the verge of the cliff of reality. She was down there, crying out for help. Her lovely eyes were filled with horror. Those twins on her face manifested a hope for rescue. Her ray of hope was me, standing still on the ledge. I wasn't scared of death, I was scared of losing her. Completely filled with despair. I should have had jumped and saved her. Time is surely vice. There was no way I could reach her before she'd be taken away from me forever. My subconscious mind was still awake in the real world and it already knew that, what I was witnessing was an illusion. The fact being that she was already dead in reality and I was unable to save her, made my subconscious mind undergo a mental breakdown that cracked the ridge and held me back while I had leapt almost. I was stuck in the crack. I so badly hate gravity for this. I could probably have had saved her but had to unwillingly abstain. I could see her bus move in a zig zag motion, signifying the endeavour of the driver to control the bus whose brakes had gone insane. She was still calling out for me. I was screaming, crying, striving to free myself from restraint. But when fate rolls your dice, you either climb up the ladder or fall into the snake's gut. 

Finally I released myself and jumped off the cliff. But it was late. Her bus too had fallen off the mountain. While I was falling off a cliff she was simultaneously falling off an other. My intake of over dosage of sleeping pills also was working simultaneously. She fell, I fell, my corpse fell off my bed!
Now, we're sitting together here on the same cloud. We're smiling at each other. There are no more questions to be answered. I have her, she has me.
"Baby, it's so cold here... Can we hug?"
I was shivering.. Death is cold indeed!


Saturday, September 20, 2014


Hope is everywhere around
I just don't want to choose
There's nothing left to be given away
I've lost all that I could lose

You left along with all of mine
My trust in you was proved wrong
I can no more pushed to be bound to you
I've suffocated for long

I've suffocated for long
I've suffocated for long
I've suffocated for long

Nightfall came cascading down
I was unprepared to believe
You've played the masquerade for enough
I've no more pain to receive

Hope is everywhere around
I just don't want to choose
You were shamming of mourning in a requiem
But I've uncovered the truth!

No more sorrows can imprison me
No more clutches to impound
I no more long to use apostrophe
There's nothing of me to be found

I donno where I'm escaping now
I donno where I belong
Cuz I've been suffocated for long

I've suffocated for long
I've suffocated for long